The Greatest Love Story of All Time

Jack and Rose from Titanic

Noah and Ally from the Notebook

Myself and Tequila from last Friday night

What do all of these pairs have in common (besides being ridiculously good looking – cough especially the last one cough)? They are all great love stories. But none of these compare (sorry Tequila) to the most epic love story of all time:

Ben and Jerry from Ben and Jerry’s

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This “bromance” all began when B and J were little 7thgraders in Brooklyn.  How did they meet, you ask? ONLY IN THE GREATEST WAY POSSIBLE.  Our founders met while running around the track in gym class. Maybe, “running” is not the best word. “Walking” is more like it. They were the slowest kids in the class.

So next time your boss asks you why you’re taking so long and slacking off on whatever your supposed to be doing, just tell them, “Chill dude, I’m just trying the find the Ben to my Jerry.. jeeze, why are you so obsessed with me!”

Anyway, after this precious meet cute they totally became Ben Affleck and Matt Damon level BFFs for ever and ever and ever.

It was after these two cuties fell in love that they found their mistress – ice cream.

During their teenage years, Ben drove an ice cream truck (talk about H-O-T wheels) and Jerry scooped at a local shop (he can come scoop me up anytime). Unfortunately, they had to put their passions to the side following college, go their separate ways, and get dumb ass jobs. Cue rain and sad music…

Then, something amazing happened! Ben and Jerry reunited! And it felt so good! They decided to  say “hasta la never” to the corporate world and enter the food business dick in butt..whoops I meant hand in hand (hehe).

Get ready for this though: Good old BJ originally didn’t want to make ice cream. Oh no, like any good New Yorker they wanted to make bagels! Like hello, never would have guessed that a gazillion years! Lucky for us (or maybe unlucky, imagine half-baked in bagel form?!.. oh my god, wait no don’t, I just did NOT GOOD, DEFINITELY NOT GOOD), bagel making equipment is apparently made of gold or diamonds or something because it was way too expensive for these future millionaires. As a result, they settled on ice cream. Ca-ching!

Being the ultimate badasses, the pair decided to open their ice cream parlor in one of the coldest places in the continental  U.S.: Burlington, Vermont. Why, you may ask? Why would they open a scoop shop in a place where it’s basically Antartica and everyone already has a brain freeze just from looking outside? They picked it because it was a college town without any other ice cream shops. Why didn’t Burlington have any other ice cream shops? Oh I don’t know, maybe because it’s basically Antartica and everyone already has a brain freeze just from looking outside?!

Despite this less than stellar location, b*tches recognize a dope ass ice cream when they taste it. Cue the dolla dolla bills and Ben and Jerry taking over the world, and our hearts, still to this day.

(Now imagine Ben and Jerry laughing, and joking, and throwing dollar bills and ice cream at one another, and yelling “I think xtine is the coolest” , “no I think xtine is the coolest”, as they ride off into the sunset…)

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