joe biden eating ice cream

Joe Biden: VP of BJs

Guess who’s back.. back again.. xtine’s back.. hide your ice cream because I’m going to eat it all. my friends..

Yes, it’s true that I have not written about BJs in a few months. Unfortunately, no, this does not mean that I now have a GiGi Hadid level body. Like sorry not sorry that I have zero self control and have still been consuming ice cream like a slutty freshman consumes cock  at frat house (and by cock I really mean chicken..and by chicken I really mean penis). Actually, if anything, I would say that I have been eating more ice cream solely because I don’t have to sacrifice my precious eating time to type up these work of art literary pieces (I’m so humble, I know).

But call me herpes because I’m back! Why? Well, let’s just say I’ve been inspired.

It all started a week ago today. I was supposed to be going to bed early so I could transform into a functional human being instead of my usual, embarrassment to myself and my family, self for the work week. But instead something, or should I say someone, caught my eye.

It all started with one little meme:

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I don’t know why, but after just seeing one Biden meme, I could not stop. I had to see them all. I felt like a girlfriend once she finally figured out her boyfriend’s iPhone password and he goes into the shower. I just kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. Nothing could stop me, not even a meteor! And then, once I saw them all, I still needed more. I’m not even a fan of politics whatsoever! Hell, I hate politics and politicians so much that I boycotted this year’s election (sue me, I dare you). Yet after I went through all of the Biden memes known to mankind, I decided to learn everything about Biden. And boy oh boy, what I found was life changing.

Not only is JB the cutest old man VP ever (I won’t go into all of his life details because y’all will think I’m the creepiest stalker ever, but just Google and read a little bit about Joe Biden’s life, I’m begging you), but he also LOVES ice cream. And I mean LOVES LOVES LOVES ice cream. I swear, some of his quotes about ice cream could have easily been Melania Trumped out of my own mouth!

Just see for yourself:

“My name is Joe Biden, and I love ice cream. You all think I’m kidding — I’m not. I eat more ice cream than three other people you’d like to be with, all at once.”

Like OH MY FREAKIN GOD! My name is xtine, and I love that Joe Biden loves ice cream. Also, challenge freakin accepted because I would love to verse him to an ice cream battle royale. Warning: when it comes to food eating challenges I.DO.NOT.LOSE.

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Joe’s got an eating problem man, one mouth but two hands…

He once even shared a BJ with Jimmy Fallon for christ’s sake! Yes, it was the Tonight Dough flavor, which definitely isn’t the best but I have to assume that wannabe Jimmy Kimmel is just biased since his fugly ass face is on the carton.

So obviously after reading and watching videos all about Joe Biden and his love for ice cream, I just needed to share my love. And if you are insane and don’t love JB for being a BJ enthusiast then please at least love him for the Hottie mcHotterson that he was before all those white hairs grew in.

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Young JB could leave his texts on read, not acknowledge me in public, file a restraining order against me, and I would still run over to his place if he sent me a “wyd?” text after  2:00am.

 

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