Once upon a BJ, there was a little elf. But this little elf wasn’t any regular little elf, he was an angry little elf. Everywhere the angry little elf went, he would yell and roll his eyes and be crabby, even when talking to a cute little girl elf with really nice eyes and elf titties.
What was making angry little elf so angry?
This was the question that has been plaguing the little elf village for years, no decades, no CENTURIES (elves live for an incredibly long time).
Was it because angry little elf was ugly? No, he was an incredibly handsome angry little elf, resembled a young Leonardo DiCaprio in fact.
Was it because angry little elf had a tiny penis? No, he was very well endowed, hung like a horse in fact.
Was it because angry little elf needed to get laid? No, he got mad bitches, just had a 2-hour slam smash last night in fact.
So what could it be?
And then it dawned on the little elf village: angry little elf was hungry.
Since he was spending all his time yelling, rolling his eyes, being crabby, looking at his gorgeous self in the mirror, measuring his massive penis, and boning all of the little elf ladies, he had forgotten to eat, and everyone knows that a hungry little elf is an angry little elf.
After this realization, the little elf village decided to take action. Strong little elf kidnapped angry little elf and tied him to a chair. Angry little elf was tied so hard to that chair that he couldn’t even move his little elf pinky if he tried. Then, chef little elf got the biggest and grandest bowl of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and the most beautiful little elf silver spoon. Strong little elf forced angry little elf’s mouth open as chef little elf quickly shoved the spoon into his mouth like it was a frat boy trying to get a blow job from that cute, yet prudish, sorority girl.
Then, as soon as the ice cream touched angry little elf’s lips, everything changed. His heart grew three sizes and a rainbow erupted in the sky as birds sang beautiful songs. And then, a true miracle happened, angry little elf smiled. The elf village didn’t even know that his face was capable of making anything other than a scowl, but there he was smiling for all to see.
Strong little elf and chef little elf then untied not so angry little elf. Not so angry elf hugged and thanked them, calling them his best friends. Then, not so angry elf scurried into the kitchen, quickly moving his not so angry elf feet right into the freezer where he ate all of the ice cream…
Angry little elf was officially fat ass little elf and he lived happily fatter after!